I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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