never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
