I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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