Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
