If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
