she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
