I CAN MOONWALK!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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