six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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