she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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