how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
