its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
