Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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