You're my little dorito
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
