let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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