Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
In other news, I just burned my penis
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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