you would pick up someone in the library
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
