i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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