He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
vagina is talking i cant
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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