super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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