doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
