he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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