i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
