I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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