My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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