I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
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I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
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