so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
