A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
