hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
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