Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
