im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
