His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
