? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
