HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
