i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
