very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
