next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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