We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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