It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
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