If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
