doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
