Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
