Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
