guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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