You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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