Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
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