I think I died a long time ago.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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