one might say we're banned from that church
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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