Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
