So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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