Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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