that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
