just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
