you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
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that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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