I wanna bring you to show and tell
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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