I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
