One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My bed smells like the plague
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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