is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
