We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
