I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
