i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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